As notifications begin and continue to roll out in the coming weeks, I’d like to share a couple of thoughts with you.
Remember that you have worked hard not only throughout the college application season but throughout your entire high school experience. Despite the challenges of a non-traditional freshman year impacted by remote and hybrid learning, you have been and will continue to be successful in your life. The admissions decisions you receive from colleges will never change that fact.
You may receive a decision you’re not happy with…a deferral or a denial. If that happens, I will share in your disappointment. I’ll help you deal with deferrals. If you were denied, I urge you to not over analyze the situation to try to figure out why you were not admitted. The odds are that it had very little to do with you personally.
There is no magic formula for how colleges come to their admissions decisions. Each one is trying to create an incoming class that fits their institutional priorities and needs. At very selective colleges, there are so many qualified applicants that colleges must make the very difficult decision of whom to admit. Remind yourself that you’ve submitted your best application and that the decisions are not within your control.
While that decision will hurt, you will get through it. That certainly isn’t meant to minimize any disappointment. Rather, it is to try to help you keep it all in perspective. I am here for you if you’d like to talk through it.
On the other hand, you may receive the decision you’ve been dreaming about. If that happens, I will share in your excitement! Be proud of your accomplishment. Please also be humble. Some of your classmates may not have received the same exciting news that you did. Keep that in perspective as well.
I am proud of each of you. You have committed many, many hours to this process, and it is an honor to be on this journey with you. We are just getting started! I wish you all the best as you will await these decisions, and I look forward to hearing your news.
Scott Anderson, the Senior Director for Access and Education at The Common Application, wrote this advice in November 2015. Each year, these words become more important as the pressure of the college admission process grows for families.
“This week, as you gather with family and friends to celebrate Thanksgiving, be mindful of the high school seniors seated at the table. Odds are they don't want to talk about their college applications any more than you want to talk about work.
Questions about college aren't inherently bad. In fact, most of them come from a place of caring. What people really want to know is how the kids are doing, what's going on in their lives, how they are managing stress, what they are thinking about their future.
Teens are thinking about college but don't necessarily want to talk about it over mashed potatoes and pumpkin pie. It's infinitely more supportive to ask them about the things they love to do and the challenges and ideas that intrigue them than it is to inquire about what they plan to major in, how they intend to make a career of it, and what that career will be. It also invites them to ask you the same kinds of questions, which creates a space for real conversation, not one-directional interrogation--or the perception of it.
So please do the high school seniors in your life a favor. Help make the Thanksgiving table a college-free zone. Redirect the conversation. Ask questions that show you are interested in them, not their applications. Share stories about your own path. They are going to be fine.”
Happy Thanksgiving to all!
Pamela
Dear College Freshmen and Parents:
As the application season is in full swing for high school seniors and I am busy helping students wrap up their applications and essays (remember those days?), I am thinking about my seniors from last year and wondering how each of you are faring at college.
Students: How are you doing? Are you happy and adjusting? The first semester can be a tough transition, but hang in there: college life typically improves as the year goes on. I would love to hear about your experience and if the college you chose is what you expected. Would you recommend your school to high school students? I may ask you to connect with my juniors or seniors students so they can get an insider’s view of your school.
Parents: How are you adjusting to having _______away at school? I know from experience that there is no simple answer to this question! Have you been happy with your student’s experience so far? Is your freshman your oldest child? You too may be experiencing a tough transition. If you have older children who went off to college earlier, how is this time different for you? If it's your first taste of being an "empty nester," it may be bittersweet.
Whether you worked with me last year or three years ago, I would love to hear about your journey (parents, too)!
Best,
Pamela
