Ryan Avent, Senior Economics Editor at The Economist, weighs the variables of "High Pressure Parenting" as he considers whether our efforts are really "worth it" in a tangible way. He acknowledges that the intensity--for some beginning before children are born--does not let up. He identifies his feelings, which many will relate to, here:
"That sense of panic that I felt in my first year at university has recurred off and on. It was there in my early 20s, when my friends and I lamented our entry-level jobs and ran in terror to graduate school to be spared the need to confront the sheer awfulness of adult life. It is there, a bit, when I learn of a peer’s great success. And it is there, I find, when I hear of the achievements and talents of my friends’ children.
That panic is useful. It is a spur in the gut, reminding me to keep running. But I don’t want my kids to feel that panic."
Most of us do not want our kids to feel that panic. The college process occurs when they are just starting out. Heaping pressure on them suggests that there is only one way to success, one way to happiness.
Avent points out how Mr. Banks, in Mary Poppins, after stressing the importance of banking to his children, has an experience beyond his control. This triggers an epiphany that leads him to flying a kite with his kids. As we have much to teach our kids, they have plenty to teach--and remind--us about what really matters. Read the full article at the link below.
https://www.1843magazine.com/features/highpressure-parenting
Last week, I encouraged a new family to consider a college they were lukewarm about because one of my former student was having an amazing experience there. The mom said, "I can't believe that you keep in touch with students from three years ago!" "Of course!" I answered, "We work hard together and build a relationship. I don't let that go just because they went off to college! Believe it or not, some of them still reach out to me!"
The supportive relationship you build with a college counselor doesn't disappear after your child leaves for college. Below is a Forbes article that focuses on how to bond with your school counselor. It will help you develop a great working relationship with your independent counselor as well.
http://www.forbes.com/sites/willarddix/2017/01/25/ten-ways-to-bond-with-your-childs-college-counselor/#4c4ea1133273
Please visit lesscollegestress.org!
Find out how College Process Counseling "de-stresses the college process" for students and families who work with me. Thanks to all who helped make the website look great by sharing beautiful pictures of your kids. I also appreciate the college reviews from current students, many of whom are happy to connect with high school students to give more info. Of course, many thanks to those of you who have written such kind testimonials over the years!